Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Losing Mia

I was asked to write about our adoption loss ‘Losing Mia’ for Trinity Heart and it dawn on me that this week 8 years ago on 8 June 2004 little Mia was born. 8 years since she’s absent from our lives. I’m wondering how she’s doing, is she happy? Is she save, is she loved? How the decisions made for her at birth affected her, how did it changed her life? What path will her life take? I need to find peace and I think to write openly about my loss is the final chapter. I kept my emotions and feelings hidden for a long time. I still misses Mia, I still think of her, she is not dead to me sadly she is lost to me forever.

I was very na├»ve about the whole adoption path and had a childlike faith in Mia’s birth mom, I trusted her blindly, and felt empathy for all of her stories, If I can give any potential adoptive parents some advice that goes an Open Adoption decision, work with your social worker and not with the birth mom. Trust your social worker, if you don’t trust your social worker, find another social worker. Also remember: if the BM wants to place her baby with you she will do it without any demands. If she is ready to place her child with you she will do it.

We found an AMAZING social worker and agency that restored our trust in Adoption and that helped us trough the whole process. She guide and Nurture our fears and soothe our nerves. And today we are proud parents of 2 beautiful, bright, intelligent little boys. I love them with all my heart!

Thank you again R and C for choosing our profile, thank you for entrusting us with your babies, thank you for your love towards them for not terminate them, thank you for thinking clearly about their future's. I know you also feel loss, pain, grief and guilt. I know now a broken heart never goes away. That feeling of lost always lingers.

Also I want to thank my mom. When the 60 day’s could not be confirmed when Mia was with us I couldn’t get adoption leave and my mom was looking after Mia, she also bonded with her and she also felt the loss that I felt. She also cuddled, kissed and loved her. Thank you mom, for being there for me and helping me still today with my boys.

I’m a lot stronger than I used to be, I know now I can overcome any tragedy, there is always tomorrow that will bring another miracle in my life.

Starting a Lifebook - next on my agenda

I've already created a memory box for Jano and Liam with their clothes that they was wearing when we got them, the first haircut, the 1st dummy etc... But I did not yet start a lifebook for them...

What is a lifebook?

A lifebook is a record of your child's life from birth.

It uses words, photos, and your child's artwork to chronicle the critical events in your child's life.

Of course, it's written in child friendly terms.

It is the words which are more important than the photos.

It is much more than a scrapbook!

Go and Google - Lifebooks: Creating and Telling Your Child's Story

Some Sites to Visit:

Go now and get a special book that you can mould into your child's Lifebook. A book specially design for your kids by you.

Friday, June 01, 2012

My Birthday Present this year!

I'm going to ask hubby to get me something like this for my birthday this year.

LOVE this! I can put Jano and Liam's name on.

I'm even thinking of getting a tattoo :)

For those of you don't know this symbol it is the international symbol of adoption. The triangle represent the birthmother, child, and adoptive parent. The heart of course is the love between the three.

The Adoption Symbol

Adoption Symbol

Bulletjie Rugby 2012 at Loftus

5000 exited little Bulletjies played their hearts out at Loftus 5 May 2012! Jano was so exited he did not sleep the previous night! He had 1 try, he was crying so much because he wanted 10 tries :) I told him even if he did not have 1 try as long as he enjoyed the game then we are HAPPY! Luckily the Candy Floss after the games cheered him up 100%

mamma is trots op jou! soen soen soen soen SOEN!
Loftus Bulletjie Rugby 2012